Autism-World

My son is 12 years old and was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when he was five years old. I tend to believe that he really has Aspergers. He has not had a private or school evaluation since he was five years old. I have never had a reason to have him reevaluated until now. That means that he has not been evaluated for seven years.

My son attended the same school from kindergarten until 6th grade. The educators at that school are amazing, caring, and wonderful people. I never had to ask for a thing for my son. They knew what he needed and they did it.

My son is now in middle school. In the spring of 2005 we met with the people from the elementary and middle school. We came up with provisions for his middle school years. His educators from elementary came up with 90% of these provisions based on their direct experience with my son.

He does not like to break rules and his 6th grade teacher STRONGLY suggested that he leave each class a minute or two early. That would keep him out of the halls during the chaos and help him avoid getting a tardy. She stated that, “If he gets a tardy it will ruin his whole day. He will be lost to you for the rest of the day.”

They also said that he should have a set of books in each classroom and a set at home. This would also help him with getting to his classes on time. It would help with his organizational issues.

We also asked that he have music instead of art. His fine motor skills are not the best and art can be difficult.

We asked that he have PE at the end of the day so that he wouldnt have to shower. According to the University of North Carolina, bullying can be at its worse in the shower area. Autistic children are often bullied and my son has not been the exception.

His middle school did not do any of these things. He did not get to leave class early. He did not get a set of books in each classroom or a set at home. He has art. He has PE 6th hour.

He got seven tardies in a span of three weeks. He became depressed. He came home from school one day and put the thermometer in the microwave. Of course that didn’t work out the way that he had wanted. He had wanted to make it look like he had a fever.

He ran to his room and put his piggy bank outside of his door. He wanted me to take money out of it to replace what he had broken. I went into his room and he was sobbing. He said, “I can’t do anything right. Your life would have been better if I had never been born.” I told him that a hole in my heart was filled on the day that he was born. He said, “You never would have missed me if you had never known me. A different child would have made your life better.”

I immediately contacted the school. This was September and I didn’t want the school year starting out like this.

I had a meeting with two teachers, one co-teacher, and two aides. I had talked about this with the assistant principal, but she wasn’t available on that day. Neither was the special education coordinator nor the autism coordinator.

I tried to explain his tardies. Five of them were directly due to his having to go to his locker after every class. This would not have been necessary if he had a set of books in each class. One tardy was because he couldn’t get his PE locker open and he waited until a child from the next hour came in and helped him. One tardy was because he was late to home room. His bus had came back through our neighborhood, I witnessed this, twenty minutes after it had picked him up. A student had gotten sick on the bus and the bus driver had brought her back home. This meant that the students got to school 20 minutes later than normal. He didn’t understand that his schedule had changed by twenty minutes.

His co-teacher would not even let me finish a sentence. I didn’t get to state what I just stated above. She said that I was wrong and that his bus had never been late. She said that he was just being stubborn and wouldn’t take his book to PE. If he took his book to PE, he would be able to go straight to his class after PE instead of his locker. She said that he had not had a problem with his locker and that it was stubbornness that made him late. The rule is that you don’t take your books to PE. Once again, he WILL NOT break rules. Real or perceived.

I told her that I would like to have a book at home, as per our spring conversation. She said that he didn’t need a book at home. The information was available online. I told her that I would need a username and password. She said that I already had it. I told her that I did not. She said that I did. Finally, another teacher intervened and told me that he would get me the password and username. What if the internet was down? Why must I count on my server when I was supposed to have a book at home?

I explained that my son was depressed and related the incident of the thermometer. I told them that I knew that his depression was a direct result of coming to this school. The co-teacher said that he would be really stressed and want to stay home on Friday. She stated that he was going to have a test and that he was going to flunk it.

I asked her if he was being given tests in small groups as was stated in his IEP. She said that she would have to drag him out into the hall to do that.

My son has always gone to the learning center for his tests. Not once was dragging him out of the class required. As a matter of fact, he has never had any discipline issues until now.

The next day I called the autism coordinator to explain my distress after this meeting. Never have I been treated in such a manner. I am an adult. If she treated me this way, how does she treat children? She is in charge of children with special needs.

The assistant principal called me that same morning to discuss my sons tardies. Because of the number of the tardies he was to be disciplined. I told her about my meeting. She said that she would talk to the co-teacher, autism coordinator, and special education coordinator. The co-teacher is also my son’s home room teacher.

They kept my son out of home room for two weeks and the main teacher took him out into the hall and gave him the test. He passed the test with a “B”.

One day his math teacher asked him to do an assignment. Then she started writing the answers on the board. He thought that he should stop. Her story is that she asked him three times and he didn’t comply. His story is that he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He shut down and just sat there.

She wrote him up. They call it a commitment letter. To my son it was a punitive action. He started crying. She called me to let me know what had happened and that he was crying. I told her that I would cry too, if every day that I went to work I was afraid that I was going to get into trouble and I didn’t know why. If I didn’t understand the rules and what was expected of me I would be stressed, too.

His teacher told me that she felt that he needed to live up to expectations. I told her that I agreed. But, not the expectations of “normal” kids. I told her that I had expectations the day that he was born. Those are gone.

I received a call from the autism coordinator stating that she was concerned because my son had become depressed and lethargic. She wanted to have a meeting to make a plan to help him. At this point, I had spoken with all of his teachers, special education coordinator, the assistant principal, and the autism coordinator. I had expressed my concern over my sons depression. At no time was he sent to the counselor’s office.

I went back for another meeting. They felt that we all just needed to be more positive and help my son to be more positive. They asked if my being anxious had caused my son to become anxious. I assured them that I was not anxious until my child began talking about dying.

I walked out feeling that my son didn’t have many options left in this school district.

It was suggested that I take my son to his pediatrician for the depression. I did this. My pediatrician was as confused as I was as to why the school was having such an issue trying to figure out how to educate an autistic child. She asked me if they were having budget issues.

We both agreed that my child should not be medicated for a problem at school. She decided that she wanted to call the school and speak with his counselor.

I called the school counselor and told her about my son. My doctor called the counselor as well. It took a week for my doctor to get a call back. Still, my son has never been to the counselor.

I researched many autism sites and tried to find information on educating autistic children. Most sites stated that I should offer the school any information that I found so that we could work together on my son’s education.

I contacted the Special Education Coordinator for the School District. I told him that I wanted to have my next meeting with the staff at the school and give them a chance to work this out. I told him that I would call him back after my meeting.

I emailed him after the meeting where we discussed making my son feel more positive. I told him that I would like to meet with him one-on-one to discuss my issues. I told him that I get easily intimidated when I have to face many people at one time. My pediatrician felt that this would be the best plan.

He refused to meet with me one-on-one. He said, “I would be happy to meet with you at any time, but not without direct input from staff. I will ask that the special ed coordinator for the school coordinate a meeting with the three of us and any additional staff that might have more background on your son. I have none.” I would have thought that he could have read my son’s file and gotten all of the background that he needed.

I called him several times the next few days. He WOULD NOT return my phone calls. I wanted to let him know what my pediatrician and I had discussed.

I met with him for 15 minutes. I told him that I had read that most autistic children only respond to positive teaching. He told me that I couldn’t believe everything that I read. I told him that I wanted my son in a class with a more positive teacher or in a modified curriculum. He told me that he may not be able to help my son in the future. I told him that my son was depressed and that being in this class was making it worse. He told me that it was a good life lesson for my son.

I informed him that I would be contacting my behavioral specialist to have my son reevaluated. I told him that my doctor felt that my son’s disability was not being addressed and that we would need professional help to draw up his IEP.

I did contact the hospital and they told me that my son’s legal rights were not being met. They said that he could not simply adapt as the school district was wanting him to do. They said that he was not able to adapt.

It will take six months to get my son even started on the evaluations. The hospital suggested that I contact MPACT so that they could help mean in the interim.

I contacted the superintendant’s office to complain about the district’s special education coordinator’s lack of understanding about autistic children and his inability to discuss my concerns without totally dismissing me. I was contacted by the principal of of my son’s school instead of by the superintendant. I told her everything that I have just written. She suggested that I contact the assistant superintendent.

I contacted the assistant cuperintendent. I told her of my concerns. I told her that I was having another meeting with the staff at my son’s school. I told her that I would email all of my correspondence to her. That is when I found out that the public can not have access to Administration email addresses. I had to send everything to her secretary.

She called me back several days later and stated that she had found out that I was having a meeting with the school’s staff in two days. She went on to say that she hadn’t known about that. By the end of the message she said that I had told her about it and that she had forgotten. She told me that she would contact me after the meeting. She stated that she was writing it on her calendar right then. She did tell me that she couldn’t believe that I was told these things. I didn’t hear from her again for two months. And that was because I wrote a letter to the superintendent and the entire school board.

My son is very smart, but he is getting and “F” in science, language arts, and home economics. He has missed 12 days of school because he has been sick so much. I believe that the stress that he has been under has affected his health. I have, of course, received the letter threatening me because of his absences.

My son has to go to his teachers for his make up work and tests that he missed. He never does that and that is why he is flunking. He is supposed to be taking tests in small groups, but they say that they will only do that if they “don’t have to drag him out of class” to do it. He has never had to be dragged out of class before.

I had another meeting in November. I must stress that the special education coordinator for his school is trying to do her best. I just don’t think that the district has a clear understanding of how to educate this unique population of students.

In our last meeting we decided that he needed a place to go when he gets stressed. It has been working and he is no longer as depressed.

His teachers are supposed to write in his plan book every day so that I know what his assignments were for that day and what we need to get done that night. Only his core classes do this. And they don’t do it on a regular basis. With the exception of one wonderful teacher. He is making a “B’ in her class and she has been wonderful with him.

He still doesn’t have books in all of his classrooms. He has never been able to leave any classes early with the exception of one. The staff felt that it was not necessary and dismissed it.

I finally met with the assistant superintendent in December. We once again went over the provisions that have been made for my son. The special ed coordinator admited that they had not been followed.

I told everyone that my son has been chewing again and that he had gotten in trouble in one of his classes for it. They decided that he could wear a bracelet to chew on. After the Christmas break they gave Jake a bracelet to chew on. The first day that he wore it a teacher told him that “bracelets are for wearing, not for chewing on.”

They have removed him from art and put him in music. His art teacher was erasing his work and telling him that he was not giving it enough effort.

I have noticed that papers that can be graded subjectively come home with “F’s” on them. My neighbor and I helped our sons with a project for language arts. We did them quite similarly. Her son got 207/207 on his and my son got 172/207 on his. It stated that his was not creative or colorful enough. Even though we used the same paper on both.

I have requested that my son be reevaluated and also have an FBA done. I will have to go back in for his IEP in March.

I can’t see where he is getting any services. He is in a regular classroom. There is a co-teacher or a para in every class, but there also may be 11 other children in the class that they are helping.

I have been posting to a message board that is designed for parents of children with special needs. When I went to my last meeting I noticed that they had a copy of everything that I had posted.

Whenever I ask them why something isn’t being done they always tell me it’s because my son doesn’t want to. Such as, leaving class early, taking tests in small groups, etc. When I ask my son about it he tells me that it has never been offered to him.

Two teachers were giving him tests in small groups. Now they have quit.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 31st, 2007 at 9:58 pm and is filed under Autism Education Issues.