Autistic Children who hurt themselves
July 13th, 2007Ask:
I have a daughter with autism. She is subject to hurt herself if she gets upset .Now they say 1 in 166?
Some of these children with autism have trouble concentrating on their homework. I sympathize with them but at the same time it hurts my feelings.
My daughter can bite her hand until it bleeds. Do you think I have the right to be upset when the autism society puts a child that has trouble doing homework in the same category as my daughter that does things to physically hurts herself.
Again I feel for the parents and children that have those problems but the only solution I can come up with is to block it out of my mind but that doesn’t solve my problem and it will always cause me problems untill I find out a way to really solve it.
Answer:
I know what you are talking about. My niece is autistic. I watch these specials on autism and see a child running around, talking appearing normal & the perfectly normal looking mother says “& I just found out that I am autistic, too.” And I get frustrated with them being put in the same catagory as my niece who can’t talk & is only semi-potty trained! (Yes, I know these people have problems - but not many compared to my neice!)
I think we need to stop using the broad term “autism” for these high-functioning individuals & refer to them as “Asperger’s” instead. If we could get people used to the terms “Kanner’s” or maybe “classic autism” for those like your daughter & my neice, that would help with the confusion.
Another problem with the broad definition of autism is that there is now a cry going out “WE DON”T NEED A CURE.” This is high function ing individuals who resent being told they need a cure. “We just need acceptance.”
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PDD-NOS Woman said:
I think I understand how you feel about seeing seemingly high-functioning individuals being diagnosed with autism. But they do refer to autism spectrum disorders as opposed to just autism (classic autism). I have been diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified. The reason for this diagnosis is that I have symptoms of both Asperger’s and classic autism. I have a Ph.D., but I also end up in a dreamlike state at times when teaching classes and sometimes can’t even complete a sentence. According to the medical provider I see (who is a specialist in the area of the pervasive developmental disorders) my extreme sensitivity to light, sound, touch, and motion and hideous eye contact as well as my light-triggered seizures indicate my brain has the inability to filter out external stimuli (typical in classic autism as well as Asperger’s). I take anticonvulsant and stimulant medications which helps to some degree, and I have to sit in a very dim, quiet environment. I scream whenever there is a sudden change in noise, light, or movement. Unfortunately, I never grew out of those behaviors as my pediatrician thought I would.
I do understand your frustration when people who seem to be able to live a normal, high-functioning” life have a diagnosis containing the word “autism”. But I also feel frustration when people suggest that I must have Asperger’s just because I can communicate. I even thought that myself. But the truth is I have to hide so much of who I am in order to be seen as a “normal”, functional woman because of my fear of losing independence. I finally had the courage to tell my doctor I had been banging my head against the bed but had absolutely no desire to hurt myself (especially since I’m so sensitive to pain and generally like my life). My husband has to put his hand between my hand and the headboard, and I only vaguely remember this. Yes, I have a doctoral degree, but I also shut my eyes , hold my ears (until there is sometimes a little bleeding) and curl up with my knees tucked tightly into my chest and scream during thunderstorms. And during these times, I wish I could be anyone else. So I’m just wonderingif this sounds like a description of someone who is “high-functioning”. Because people who are considered to be high functioning autistics may only be high-functioning in the intellectual sense. But that may only mean that we are painfully aware of how different from the norm we really are.
Less extreme but more pervasive is the example of my social interactions and relationships. There are times when people apparently talk to me for a long period of time, and I don’t have any recollection of it. I have had to overcome faulty wiring and ridicule, but having a Ph.D. doesn’t make social isolation any less painful. Creativity is almost effortless to me, but I still feel the pain of being put down for my purposeless chattering, picking at objects and staring off into space…things I can’t even help. A Ph.D. doesn’t protect me from the pain I feel when people I once trusted take advantage of my condition or attribute it to a lack of motivation.
So I’m a 36-year-old Ph.D. who still holds her ears and screams like she did when she was two years old. But there’s something positive you can take out of what I’m saying. Even if other kids happen to be well-rounded or socially adept, your daughter or your niece is probably exceptionally gifted in specific areas. And the fact that they have people who love them as you do will only benefit them. I am fortunate enough to have a few loved ones (including my husband) who accept my limitations and won’t abandon me when I don’t have the strength to act like a “normal” grown woman. But your little girls are doing the best they can…just reassure them that their best is good enough.