Autism-World

Ask:

A close friend of the family adopted a boy who is 10 and is autistic. We’re meeting him for the first time tomorrow afternoon over lunch.

I don’t really know much about autism so I just want to know if there is anything I should avoid saying or doing that might not be good or set him off. I don’t know if “set off” is the right term but I think you know what I mean. I’m really excited to meet him and I want things to be as comfortable as possiable.

Answer:

The biggest thing to remember is to respect the child’s physical space. Many autistic children are sensitive about physical contact. It is not that they don’t like it at all (although there are some that don’t ) but rather they don’t like it happening without warning.

When you meet the child, speak to him clearly. If he is looking down, drop to your knees and try to meet his line of vision. Again, many people with autism have difficulty with eye contact, so if it doesn’t happen, don’t push. Do not hug him or even rest a hand on him without asking first “I really liked meeting you Mikey. Can I give you a hug?” Conversely, some kids with autism have difficulty setting boundries for other people’s personal space. If he pushes that with you or does touch in an inappropriate way, simply back up a few steps and let the parents handle the issue. This is something to remember…let the parents handle any discipline.

Many times, families will be using certain methods and it is important that they be done each and every time. Since you don’t know what method they may be using, simple alert the parents if you think there is something going on and let them handle it. My last bit of advice would be to let the child lead you in your relationship. It may take time and several visits, especially since the whole setting and family is new to this child, but autistic kids are just as loving and attentive as any child, just in different ways.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 27th, 2007 at 9:19 am and is filed under Ask and answer.